Has the “Loug kia kahein ge?” concept ever influenced people’s social lives? Frankly speaking, Pakistan’s society is quite toxic (and narrow minded) when it comes to topics like sexuality, gender roles, interactions with people of different genders, and other social issues.  

Here are some responses from the same question: Has the ‘loug kia kahein’ ge concept ever affected your college life, especially after entering into a co-education environment?

“There are certain unspoken rules that all of us set for ourselves sometimes. I remember back in O-Level, strict measures were taken and certain things about boys in general were recited pretty much every time we were going to interact with them. We were told to be cautious of them as if they were some sort of deranged species set out to take away every girl’s izzat. Even now, I have male friends but still the level of comfort I had back in an all-girls environment cant be achieved in my co-educational school. I remember we used to shout all the time, have water fights, and have a bare face but here, all this stuff is looked down upon. I can no longer do everything I used to and maybe I have to accept this fact and move on. Other than this, I’ve seen an ongoing weird pattern in our batch that if anyone sees me sitting with a boy they automatically assume that we’re more than friends to which I always give a stern reply.
No hard feelings though,”

– Tehreem Irfan, A1

“It’s all about the mindset, really. Ever since I started O-Level, I’ve noticed rumours here spread like wildfire and sometimes it’s a little hard to resist the temptation of hot, steaming tea — if you know what I mean. Instead of thinking about what people will think, I just think about what I will think of myself in the future regarding whatever I’m currently doing. As far as the difference in the everyday environment goes, I’ve met all sorts of people ranging from those who don’t really care much about petty, shady drama to those who would rather talk for hours on end about other people’s lives. So for me, it’s my own choice, I could spend my two years of A-Level working on building myself or I could indulge in spicy drama by forwarding screenshots of private conversations. Thankfully, I didn’t choose the latter.”

– Anonymous, A1

“Yes but it changed me for the better. Sometimes, you never really realize what or how you used to be unless you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and look at yourself from a different perspective. I’m a firm believer of the fact that your past doesn’t define you, and that who you were even a day ago isn’t the same as who you are right now. My language, the way I spoke, and even my vocabulary, was insensitive, vulgar and almost always offensive.
Then I realized what people might actually think about me: my peers, my teachers and most importantly my own family. It was like a moment of realization when I finally heard the views people actually had on me, and ever since then I’ve tried to become more mature and look at the world differently. As far as studying in a co-education environment goes, it’s one of the reasons why I stopped making insensitive jokes and thought twice before I spoke. In the end, I know not everything people say about you can be bad, you can definitely learn from it, become the bigger person, and prove them wrong.”

– Ahmad Hamood, A1 

“It’s a matter of privacy I guess. There are people in other colleges who talk about me, know what subjects I take, ask for pictures of me and what not. I suppose it makes me a tad bit uncomfortable when there are people out there literally discussing my life for fun and to kill their boredom. It makes me think twice about what I always do because there is always going to be someone out there who can’t keep their nose out of another person’s business. Welp, I guess I know what it feels like to be a celebrity then.”

– Aaleen Shahid, A1

“We aren’t made of steel. We aren’t robots. That’s a fact. We’re human, and each one of us has a heart and cares about different things – ranging from their birthdays to far more important subjects like climate change. I’ve had to go through several phases of my life, and I’ve made many, many bad decisions — trust me. And then people start their ongoing debate on my character. Yes, I do post sad quotes on my close friends’ story on Instagram, I do have a Spotify playlist titled, ‘Sad boi hours’, and I do angrily rant about rumors which include me. Because quite often, it’s hard to get over the fact that people know more about you than you would want them to know, but that is okay. It is okay.
I’ve tried not to think much about it because, as most seniors say, “A1 main karlo jitni party karni hai, aagay jaakar moqa nahi milna,” I do try to take advantage of all I have. And as Musa, my senior, once told me, it’s more of a, “loug kiun kahein ge,” thing which led him to look at the bigger picture – and ultimately helped me to ponder over it too. So change the world, break the norms, do what you feel like doing, hang out with who you want to hang out with, fight for your rights, and most importantly, never forget to love yourself. You know you’ve begun to find your true self when you begin to realise that no one else has enough power to affect your life, unless you allow them to.”

– Yours Truly, Esha Fatima, A1